OCTOBER 11 / 2003

BACK TO ARCHIVES

Watch Out! Pete is Really Peeved On behalf of legitimate restaurant reviewers everywhere I am ashamed, annoyed, humiliated and downright pissed off by a spectacle that some joker pulled on a new restaurateur a couple of weeks ago. A colleague friend of mine, Angus, and I had gone to a newly opened contemporary creperie downtown, ironically to do a review. We noticed someone come in with more than the usual fanfare of an individual just coming for lunch. He shook a couple of hands, placed a newspaper on the counter and sat at the next table in front of us. Neither my colleague nor I gave this much thought. However we did take notice of this fellow ceremoniously taking out some paper and gingerly patting it flat on the table beside his plate, followed by the equally ceremonious taking out a pen from his lapel and placing it on the paper. He then looked around the establishment in sweeping glances, taking note of who was looking at him. "Do you think that guy is a restaurant reviewer of some kind too?" asked Angus. I highly doubted it since restaurant reviewers try to draw as little attention as possible while conducting reviews. In the 15 years I reviewed restaurants for the Examiner, I fought to keep my picture out of the paper to decrease the chances of restaurateurs noticing me. Further, I would inform them of the review only after the meal had been served and we were about to pay. The crepes at this establishment were huge. It is almost impossible to eat a whole entrée and then a dessert crepe. So to maximize what we could taste, Angus and I shared with each other what we ordered…which is pretty much common practice with any review. But we noticed the owner of the restaurant carrying a plate of three mini crepes to the fellow at the next table. "Geez", I mentioned to Angus, "I didn't see any combination platter. That's the way we should have gone!" Angus wasn't aware of any combination platter either, and there certainly was no mention of one on the menu board. It was at that point we noticed our mysterious friend writing down stuff from the menu board. (This was totally unnecessary, as there were paper copies of the same by the cash register. We then noticed some more increased fanfare as he tasted his crepes, rolled his eyes around, smacking his lips and jotting the occasional note. "I don't know who he is," I said to Angus, "but he's sure doing a poor job of pretending to be a reviewer". We chuckled at the scene developing next to us, and resumed our own conversation. A little while later, one or two staff came to check how this fellow was doing, offering to refill his water glass, and so on. Then the owner came by again. They had a short conversation, exchanged a handshake, and then Mr. Pomp and Circumstance left…without paying. Now it happens that Angus is a friend of the owner, and even he didn't forewarn him that we were coming to do a review. But now that we had eaten, Angus called him over to the table. We couldn't help but ask about the scene that had transpired before us. The owner had received a call from this fellow who apparently does reviews for a targeted audience community-type paper in Edmonton. He had phoned in advance to say he was coming. So they had prepared a medley of little crepes for him to sample; and it had been arranged that he would not pay for his lunch. I immediately commented that it is difficult to be given your meal free of charge and then write an unbiased review. First, the reviewer is somewhat indebted to the establishment for lunch, and in a way "owes" the place. Second, if a restaurateur knows in advance that you are a reviewer, people will make darn sure you get the finest version of whatever you order. That means what you sample is not necessarily reflective of what they serve everyone else. It has also been a rule set in stone by any reviewer I have known that the meal is paid for…so that there is no possible sense of indebtedness to the restaurant when the reviewer writes his or her review. How the paper, radio or TV station compensates the reviewer is, of course, worked out individually. But the restaurant bill is always paid. "The review?" queried a wide-eyed new young owner. "If I want a review done in his paper, I have to pay him for it. That's extra." Apparently this bloke was fed simply so he could become more familiar with the establishment. No review. Angus and I both just about fell off our chairs. To us, this went well beyond phony and almost bordered on fraudulent. Every code of decency and ethics that could be attributed to a restaurant reviewer was shattered in just one sitting. So…here is a plea to every restaurateur from the heart of someone who is proud to be a restaurant reviewer and proud of the reputation he has built up over nearly two decades. If you EVER get a phone call asking for a freebee in advance from a would-be restaurant reviewer, double check - no - triple check qualifications. Better yet, just hang up the phone.